Mobile Towers : Zov, Jigar & Jaan

In the midst of the Mobile tower Conspiracy, where there are arguments and counter arguments flowing from the both sides, but nevertheless the common masses seem enough intelligent to decipher the conspiracies hatched for all this drama, something has caught up my nose. Dealing with this crisis needs a brave heart, But the most interesting  thing in all this uncertain atmosphere is that only the modern bachas and buchis are really upset. According to the RTI filled by a activist  namely “Nakaam Aashik”, the state government has put up an estimates of 100 billions to be saved from the local, STD and night packs used by the Aashikhs and Mashooks for taking online  tuition classes from their beloved ones. “Being Baalyaar”, a social activist while giving the details of all this, made it clear that his NGO is going to collect the money from both Aashiks and Mashooks, which they use to recharge their cell phones on daily basis, to raise awareness among  the age old people of 70’s  and conservative youth of 90’s about the online tuition classes. He said, “ we are also going to launch a state wide campaign to smoothen the ralationships resulting from these online tutiuons, also we are going to bear all the burdens including the “Runaway” ceremony and “police saal” later . Meanwhile, according to the media reports, the PM of the occupational country has already declared it the national disaster. Briefing the media men, he said, “ youth are the assets of any  nation, we tried our best to inculcate among them the love for our nation, but we failed on two accounts.one that they used these facilities to mark their protests against us and the they went a step further to show it to the international media, secondly, we have got inputs that a large no of youth are getting audio tapes of Maulana Masood Azhar, that dreaded terrorist , and are slowly becoming his fans.so how can a the world’s largest democracy bare all this.  I express my deep condolences with all those Aashiqs and Mashooqs, who got caught in this whole tragedy, but I must assure them and the whole nation that we will not let them down, we will explore additional options like satellite phones, so that they may keep their business going, said a statement quoting PM of occupational country , Dharendra lodi.

Meanwhile, I talked with some Aashiqs and Mashooqs so that I can put their plight before general public.Suhanan chopra a victim, while talking about her ordeal broke down few times. How can I live without him, We used to talk for atlesat 18 hours in a day, I had put a monthly pack of 349 in my reliance sim card just before 3 days, that also went unused, said suhana while talking about his Jigar, “Cool Guy”.

Rude rebel, a boy with long hairs and shattered jeans having deep sighs with smoke puffs, said, say we are living a life of occupation, so these things happen, but we must not get pained. We have lived in the past by writing letters and waiting for their replies, so this is not a thing for which we need to protest.

Another, aashiq probably in his mid 30’s recalls his past, “ ours was a golden era, we used to write letters in the night and then wait eagerly for the dawn to send it to the other side, but these modern boys ruined our business”. We were educated and good in urdu, see these young guys, they even doesn’t know Kashmiri, all they know is fateechar English, he said in a bit of rage.

Showing his concern, the famous poet and writer, Zareefa ahmad Zareefa said, ‘see how they have captured the Pigeon, and are planning to send him to jail and try  him for ant national activities’.in spite of  knowing that the pigeon serves a messenger between two sacred souls, they tortured him, isn’t it a kind of injustice, he added further.

Adding fuel to the fire, the chief of the jihadi outfit,  T Gajendra Kumar, has declared the outfit named in this whole tragedy as “Lashkar –e- shaitan”, who have no affilation with his united gazab council.He in a press statement said, “  ours is a very civilized and legitimate organistion  and we are fighting a pious war for that we only believe in killing unarmed Youth who demand  aazadi,so people must affirm their faith in us.It is a ploy of the neighboring enemy to malign our image and struggle, we are investigating the whole matter and we hope we will crack this case in next century.”

Badnaseeb Drabu, a local government’s  economist and a fiancé  minister, while putting all the speculations to an end, said in a press conference held today that “ we are going to announce a new policy for these online tuitions, so that our young generations may not suffer. After all it is the matter of global importance, how can we play with the careers of our youth, who have put up so much hard work and money to convey their message and then successfully made among the list of Aashiqs, he said.

Meanwhile in the wake of the shab’e Baraa’t, the grand mufti of Kashmir, Mufti peeran e peer had urged the whole community to make special prayers for these departed souls and hold the congregational fatheh khawani for the lashkare shaitan jihadis.But to his dismay the All Housewife Mothers Association (AHMA) has condemned his remarks and requested him to stay away from these matters.while talking to the writer, the spokesperson said, that it is the result of our prayers, we thank  Lashkar e Shaitan for this.these mobiles ruined the career of our children and also we had to bear the burden of making special packs available to them. 

The writer tried to contact the chief minister for his comments, but he refused to utter a word, saying this doesn’t lie in his jurisdiction and he holds only the portfolio of keeping silence and making development in his state.

The story doesn’t end here but limited time and limited space!

Actually it is the pain of those Aashiqs and Maashooqs, which I felt and tried to put before u so that they may not feel alienated in their families and amongst their friends.

Note: It is a satirical piece meant for entertainment, the names and the people quoted are all fake .